Time to brag

Monday I chaperoned the 1st & 5th graders to the zoo. All year, they've been paired up as "book buddies" where the 5th graders help the 1st graders in the library, work on reading, etc.

DS1 has this adorable crazy-haired girl named Sydney for his book buddy, and she is just the cutest thing. At the zoo, I had to remind most of the 5th graders several times (I had 4 pairs of kids) to keep their buddies close. I'm fairly sure DS1 held Sydney's hand the entire time.

He is a walking encyclopedia, and became her own personal tour guide. "Sydney, do you see the Capybara? See his nostrils on top of his head? They help him swim away from predators & hide in the plants." Then he'd pick her up to show her all the exhibits she couldn't see.

I told him at some point that he didn't have to hold her hand the whole time. He looked at me and said, "She's a little girl and sometimes people look for little girls to steal. I have to keep her safe." (I had to swallow the lump in my throat)

Sydney gave him a t-shirt as a gift for end of the year with "Tough Guy" on it. Her mom said Sydney always talks about DS1 and how much he looks after her at school. I am truly proud I have such a caring, compassionate young man.

Shaggy pics

I agreed to let the XH cut the boys' hair this time since he was unhappy with the lady I took them to a last time. (Hey, who knew that someone at Great Clips could screw up a boy cut?)

Well, he didn't get their hair cut before picture day, so I can now introduce my shaggy boys. 5th grade, 3rd grade, 1st grade.

Um, WHAT?!?

Last week I spent some time with DS1 & DS2 in the garden. By spending time, I really mean that I forced them to do work with me clearing the patch of weeds, rocks, and landscape fabric.

(It was "Take your child to work" day and I forgot to sign them up for events on campus, so we "worked from home" all day. I showed them that while their mom has a "real" job, she also takes care of the garden/plants, organizes clothes for donations, etc.)

So, I get out all of the garden tools and tell the boys to grab a rake or ho so we can get to the weeds. DS1 laughs and grabs one saying, "I want the dirty hoe!" Did I mention the mischievous grin? I pretended not to hear him, of course.

Later, as we attack the weeds the mischievous grin returns as he says "I won't have a 'ho' until I'm 16." WHAT?!?! Apparently the expression on my face silenced him and he amended, "I mean DATE, not, uh...."

I don't think I could speak for at least 5 minutes, and then I got to (gently) tell him that he should not date a "ho" and find out if he really knew what that meant.

Tell me again why I can't just keep them little and innocent?

Exercises @ Kohls

DS3 shows that if you're small enough, you can do chin-ups anywhere. Even at Kohls.

I think the tongue makes him stronger. It's a Jedi thing.

Clothing Wars

The boys and I are in an unspoken war. I try to make them look nice and they prefer to look like street children. I haven't decided if they just don't CARE whether or not they're dirty and stinky, or if it somehow makes a social statement. Maybe it brings popularity?

Since we'd been cooped up from the storm, we decided to hit Kohls sale while DH went to work. Here's the game plan: one pair of (sale!) jeans for each kid, several shirts, possibly shorts. We start by picking out 3 or 4 (new, non-frayed) t-shirts with sarcastic slogans. 15 minutes later, we're still looking at the same 2 racks and I realize that boys CAN be just as picky as girls.

Finally we find ($15 sale) jeans and I send DS1 & DS2 into the dressing room. Oh, did I mention that this is all in the young MEN'S section?? Yep. (sigh) Out of the corner of my eye, I hear laughing and see FLYING PANTS pants. Again & again. I can't stare into the men's (!) dressing room like some sort of voyeur, so I take DS3 from his "chin up bar" and send him in to figure out what's going on and report like a spy.

A man walks out, shaking his head and I pretend to be the calm woman, out for a solo shopping trip on a quiet Saturday morning. Finally, I have to be HER, the woman yelling threats into the men's dressing room. I still remember my mom doing that to my brothers.

Finally, we venture to the little boys' section for DS3, find NO pants on sale. He pleads with me to buy him yet another pajama set --that he could wear to school!-- and settles on a Lego Star Wars t-shirt instead of the obnoxious "I hate homework" choic. God bless his little self.

By the time we left, I decided it's not worth it. From now on, when you see those boys walking around like street children, you'll know why their mothers don't dress them better. I will even claim them if it means avoiding another shopping trip.

Snow or rain?

The weekend really started Thursday night, with high expectations of snow and all that that brings to our area in the spring. Our weekend plans were teetering back & forth with each new announcement since the weatherman couldn't determine if it would be really rainy, or cold enough for 2 feet of wet, heavy snow. Friday night was supposed to be the sock hop, a school fundraiser for DS1's class. Saturday we had birthday parties for BFF's two cute DD's (1yo and 3yo) who live about 45 min across town. Sunday BFF and I planned on ambushing our respective boys with a trip to Six Flags.

And we waited... anxiously.

Friday morning, 6 am. No snow when DH left for a work conference. NONE!
Friday morning, 7 am. Snowing, but not sticking
Friday morning, 8:30 am. Starting to stick. (You get the drift, right?)

By the time I picked the boys up at 3:00 from school, the roads were a slushy, slippery mess. The sock hop had been postponed a week (other problems here), the birthday parties canceled, and Six Flags was either canceled or postponed. I did stop by work and pick up vouchers for a free 14-ers (think NBA but farm team) game Saturday night -- if we could get there.

...and then life happens

(why I chose this blog title)

I had lunch with a friend yesterday to discuss some issues regarding the boys. She can relate to some of my situation, and bonus -- she's a lawyer. At one point, she commented, "How did two intelligent women like us fall for it? At least we learned from our mistakes." (I am paraphrasing from faulty memory.) She was referring to our individual ex-husbands (XH for short) and how we ever believed their lies.

Really though, isn't that what life is about - making mistakes and learning from them? There's more personal growth there (in my opinion) than following a strict set of plans.

The phrase "best laid plans..." popped in my head all afternoon and I realized I had no clue where it came from. I guessed Steinbeck, then learned I was wrong (shocking) since it originated here in a poem by Robert Burns. Regardless, it fits my life story. I grew up as the "brain child" who was on track to finish my bachelor's degree before I left my teens. I was going to take the world by storm, just because I could. I had plans for my life, my parents had plans for my life... and then life came along and smacked that arrogant girl and her plans. K-O.

The girl who pretended to be omniscient fell for the oldest lines in the book, delivered by a used-car salesman in pretty boy form. My plans and schemes dissolved into a vaporous dream state, remembered painfully during those years in marriage wasteland. Don't misunderstand me; I have 3 amazing children and would relive every painful, horrific moment of those seven years to have them again. My original plans, however, did not include a marriage, 3 babies, and divorce by 25.

Still, my life is not fully in my hands, and God has helped me through it all. I am not the man in Burns' poem either looking back in despondency or forward in fear. For me, the despair of abandonment turned into amazing joy as my life took a new path. I can plan for my future fully realizing that my visions may not come to be. The beauty of life is the unexpected surprises that change your path and mold you into who God wants you to be.

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Oh, the Jews still had to endure 70 years of captivity. (I've learned that God's timeline can be a bit different, by the way.) This site has a pretty good commentary explaining the verse in context too.

Last- for fun: The Onion's article. Enjoy.