...and then life happens

(why I chose this blog title)

I had lunch with a friend yesterday to discuss some issues regarding the boys. She can relate to some of my situation, and bonus -- she's a lawyer. At one point, she commented, "How did two intelligent women like us fall for it? At least we learned from our mistakes." (I am paraphrasing from faulty memory.) She was referring to our individual ex-husbands (XH for short) and how we ever believed their lies.

Really though, isn't that what life is about - making mistakes and learning from them? There's more personal growth there (in my opinion) than following a strict set of plans.

The phrase "best laid plans..." popped in my head all afternoon and I realized I had no clue where it came from. I guessed Steinbeck, then learned I was wrong (shocking) since it originated here in a poem by Robert Burns. Regardless, it fits my life story. I grew up as the "brain child" who was on track to finish my bachelor's degree before I left my teens. I was going to take the world by storm, just because I could. I had plans for my life, my parents had plans for my life... and then life came along and smacked that arrogant girl and her plans. K-O.

The girl who pretended to be omniscient fell for the oldest lines in the book, delivered by a used-car salesman in pretty boy form. My plans and schemes dissolved into a vaporous dream state, remembered painfully during those years in marriage wasteland. Don't misunderstand me; I have 3 amazing children and would relive every painful, horrific moment of those seven years to have them again. My original plans, however, did not include a marriage, 3 babies, and divorce by 25.

Still, my life is not fully in my hands, and God has helped me through it all. I am not the man in Burns' poem either looking back in despondency or forward in fear. For me, the despair of abandonment turned into amazing joy as my life took a new path. I can plan for my future fully realizing that my visions may not come to be. The beauty of life is the unexpected surprises that change your path and mold you into who God wants you to be.

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Oh, the Jews still had to endure 70 years of captivity. (I've learned that God's timeline can be a bit different, by the way.) This site has a pretty good commentary explaining the verse in context too.

Last- for fun: The Onion's article. Enjoy.